Funny Female Monologue From How to Kiss a Girl

Funny Female Monologue From 'How to Kiss a Girl' The following monologue is from a one-act comedy How to Kiss a Girl by Wade Bradford. This one-act play is  a silly, sketch-styled play about a young man named Ken who desperately wants to know how to behave on a date, and even more desperately wants to figure out how and when he should make his move and kiss a girl for the very first time. Monologue Background In order to learn, he enlists the help of his highly advanced smartphone, Minerva. The Minerva device downloads tons of audio instructional information, crafted from centuries of information. not all of the advice, however, is useful to todays typical teen. Unfortunately, Ken is too clueless to realize, and he ends up downloading relationship advice from the 1950s, pre-Civil War America, and even Pilgrims and Pirates. Belle is one of the Audio Advice characters, and while Kens date is wolfing down her spaghetti and slurping ice tea like its going out of style, the refined Southern Belle teaches Ken how to read subtle signs from a proper lady. Much of this monologue involves the old fashioned art of fan language, so the actress performing the art should have an elegant fan to flutter during her scene. The Monologue BELLE: When you arrive at her doorstep, be prepared for a grand entrance. Stand courteously at the doorway, breathlessly awaiting her presence. Drink her in. You are mesmerized. Walk in a half circle around her, never breaking your gaze. And still breathless. Place your left hand behind your back, lift your hat with your right hand, and bow. (Pause.) And now you may breathe. Make certain that you have already prepared a charming compliment, do so in advance to avoid being tongue-tied. Tell her she looks as plump and pretty as a sweet Georgia peach. As radiant and glorious as the days before the civil war. That she makes your heart fire faster than a Gatling Gun. Begin your romantic adventure by extending your elbow so that the lady might take your arm. As you escort her to the carriage, be mindful of any mud puddles that may happen to be in your path. Instead of walking around the watery obstacle, remove your jacket, drape it to the ground, and insist that this lovely plump peach wal k upon the jacket as not to soil her pretty shoes. That is chivalry. As you ride together in the carriage, you might be wondering as to what is going through the mind of this delicate young flower. You may be tempted to talk of idle things, such as the weather, but I find it best if a gentleman sticks to the subject at hand, which is mainly the beauty of the young lady in his midst. This time, select a specific physical feature to complement. Preferably, something above her neckline. I suggest you compliment her eyes, lips, chin, and even perhaps her earlobes if you are feeling particularly bold this evening. Avoid making comments about a womans nose. Even kind words will make her self conscious. But you will notice, as the carriage ride continues, the lady speaks very little, yet she says much. (Produces a fan.) To discover the secrets of her feminine mind, simply observe the subtle signals she gives you with the movements of her fan. If the lady holds the fan with her left hand and places it in front of her face, then she is desir ous of your acquaintance. However, if she twirls her fan in her right hand, like so, then she wants to speak with you in private. Dropping the fan curtly means she simply wants to be friends, but if she presents her fan to you, shut closed thusly, she is asking: Do you love me? Now, this one is most important, so I hope you are paying attention. If the lovely lady presses a half-opened fan to her lips, that means, young man, that she wants to kiss you. Now, watch her closely: What message is she trying to convey to you? Note: This monologue could obviously be performed by one person. However, it could be further developed with a total of three performers. One actress delivering the monologue, while two other performers act out the scene being described.

The Many Ways to Pronounce I in French

The Many Ways to Pronounce I in French When youre learning French, the letter I may be one of the most challenging of the alphabet. It has a common sound, a couple of accents, and is often combined  with other letters and all of these have slightly different sounds. Because the I is used so often in French and in so many ways, its important that you study it thoroughly. This lesson will help fine tune your pronunciation skills and maybe even add a few new words to your French vocabulary. How to Pronounce the French I The French letter I is pronounced more or less like the EE in fee, but without the Y sound at the end. An I with an accent circonflexe, à ® or trà ©ma, à ¯, is pronounced the same way. This is also true for the letter Y when its used as a vowel in French. However, the French I is pronounced like the English Y in the following instances: When I is followed by a vowel as in  chà ¢tier, addition, adieu, and  tiers.When IL is at the end of a word and preceded by a vowel as in orteil, orgueil, and  Ã…“il.In most words with ILLE  such as  mouiller, fille, bouteille, and  veuillez. French Words With I Practice your pronunciation of the French I with these simple words. Give it a try on your own, then click the word to hear the correct pronunciation. Repeat these until you have them down because they are very common words that youll need often. dix  (ten)ami  (friend)lit  (bed)addition  (addition, restaurant bill)adieu  (farewell)orgueil  (pride)Å“il  (eye)veuillez  (please)fille  (girl) Letter Combinations With I The letter I is as useful in French as it is in English. However, it also comes with a variety of pronunciations depending on the letters its used in conjunction with. As you continue your study of I, be sure that you understand how these letter combinations sound. AI and  AIS  - There are three ways to pronounce AI. The most common is  pronounced like the È or bed.AIL  - Pronounced [ahy].EI - Sounds like the É or È  as in the word à ©tà ©Ã‚  (summer).EIL  -  Pronounced [ehy], similar to the E in bed followed by a Y sound. As used in  un  appareil  (device) and  un  orteil  (toe).EUI, UEIL, and  Ã…’IL  - Sounds  like the OO in good followed by a Y sound.IN - Called a nasal I, this is pronounce [e(n)]. The E sounds like an  E with a circumflex -  Ãƒ ªÃ‚  - and the (n) is the nasal sound. For example,  cinq  (five) and  pain  (bread).The nasal I can be spelled any number of ways:  in, im, ain, aim, eim, ein, em,  or en.IO - Pronounced [yo] with a closed O sound. Used in the  addition  example above.NI - When followed by another vowel, it is pronounced [ny]. If its followed by a consonant, the I follows the rules above and the N follows its own rules. For example,  une  nià ¨ce   (niece) versus  un  niveau  (level, standard).OI  - Pronounced [wa].OUIL  - Pronounced [uj]. TI - When followed by a vowel, TI sounds like [sy] as in un  dictionnaire  (dictionary). If a consonant follows this combination, the T follows its rules and the I follows the rules above. A perfect example is  actif  (active).UI  - Sounds like the English we. For example,  huit  (eight) and  la  cuisine  (kitchen, cooking).UIL and UILLE - When UIL follows a consonant, the sound is [weel] (with the exception of  un building). For instance,  juillet (July).  With UILLE, the double L transforms it to [weey] as in  une  cuillà ¨re  (spoon).